My son started full day kindergarten this year, which, in addition to the challenges of getting him to school on time, homework done, and uniform attire clean and proper, it also meant the daunting challenge of getting him to eat his lunch every day.

I am not a fan of the foods provided to our children through the Clark County School District, so I only allow my son to have “hot lunch” on Fridays or very special occasions. My husband and I work full time, so I am realistic to the demands on a family with parents in just as demanding careers. It’s a nice fall back to have, but overall it is a disappointing reality. I am also a health nut, and don’t buy or allow my children to eat many food products that are processed, made with corn syrup or refined (white) sugar. Whole grains and organics are offered in my kitchen. For the most part, my kids are OK with this. They take a genuine interest in their health and nutrition, even at the ages of 6 and 4 years old. They are allowed to have sweets and other foods, but only at grandma’s, where it’s fun to be a kid! I do cave into sweets, being a fanatic myself, I just aim for the healthier options.

With all of this being said, I was finding about mid-year that my son was coming home with a full lunchbox…the same foods I was sending him to school with, he was coming home with. At our school, the kids are given an account, and the parents put money into the account so their children can make purchases for milk and hot lunch. Soon after my discovery, I received a phone message from the school district saying that my sweet, trusting, little kindergartner was overdrawn in his account by $8.50. The sly little guy was going to school with the nutritious lunches I was making him every night, and ordering hot lunch from his account instead! I realized the problem laid in the delivery. I was creating lunches for him based on what I thought to be nutritional; yet, he was not interested in eating them at all. Problem identified. What was the solution?

I was not about to give in to the sad offerings provided by the school cafeteria. After volunteering at my son’s school one day, I was invited to eat lunch with him. He happened to have a hot lunch that day. I was mortified to find that fried chicken nuggets, fried tater tots and a box of raisins were considered nutritionally valuable during the school day. Fortunately, my son and I can have conversations around why mommy doesn’t approve of the school lunches and why it is important to eat things that are good for our bodies and provide us with energy to feed our muscles and our brain. He got it, but he still wasn’t satisfied with the lunches I was providing him. So, I thought I would try a different route. The goal was to get him to not only eat something nutritional so I felt better, but also eat something he enjoyed so he would benefit from eating at all. I decided to take him shopping.

Our first stop was to Whole Foods Market. I had been on this kick of offering him a pre-made natural peanut butter and jelly sandwich with whole grains (Sammies) and organic fruit smashers (real fruit, mostly like an applesauce, smashed into a pouch like a Capri-sun ™). We were arguing about something one day, and he slammed his hands down and said, “And, I want a REAL peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a REAL piece of fruit in my lunch from now on.” I’m laughing even as I write this. He is seriously 5 years old. I totally deserved it. So from then on out, he got what he asked for. I just compromised by giving him natural peanut butter (sometimes cashew butter) with real fruit, no sugar added organic jelly on whole wheat bread. At Whole Foods, I let him show me the things he wanted in his lunch, I checked the labels, if it had ingredients less than 2 words long, he could keep it. Whole Foods Market and Trader Joe’s are great places to take your kids shopping. They offer a variety of nutritional and traditional snacks made with an organic or raw sugar twist, and very few processed foods. Even when we can’t make it to those fabulous stores and have to hit up a traditional grocery store, I check labels. If I can’t find organic, OK, but again, the ingredients have to be less than 2 words long, and “corn syrup” or “refined” are not allowed. Oliver picks out his own fruits and other snacks for his lunch, with my guidance. When he picks out something I am not a fan of, we compromise on something similar. This has now become routine for them, and they ask a ton of questions around the who, what, and whys of food and nutrition, which is great for me because it keeps me on my toes. As long as I have a valid answer for them, they are ok with it. They are also ok with knowing they can eat certain foods at our house, and they get to indulge at their grandma’s (and trust me, they do).

We have been trying this out for the last two weeks, and so far, success! Oliver comes home with an empty lunchbox everyday. And I honestly believe that he is eating the food and not throwing it out before I see it. I don’t think he has caught on to that scam yet. He is excited about his lunches, and I ask him every night what he wants versus me putting in what I think is good for him.

Lesson learned is that kids are smart. If you empower them with education and the illusion of choice, it makes you feel better as a parent and they feel like they are gaining their independence. Do not underestimate your children. I swear sometimes I think they are smarter than me

The other day we were visiting with some family friends and they said, “At any party, your kids are sitting in front of the fruit and veggie tray. How did you get that to happen?” My immediate response, was, “I don’t know, they’ve always eaten fruits and veggies.” But when I look back on both their feeding habits, and mine I suppose I did put some effort into creating that.

First Foods

As babies, when I could finally introduce them to jar foods, I did exactly what the doctor told me to do. Feed them the greens first, as they are the ones kids dislike the most, fruits last. Babies do not usually favor greens: spinach, green beans, peas, because of their texture and taste. Let’s face it, they are not sweet, and coming out of a jar, they taste even worse. I was so paranoid with my first child, that I followed the doctor’s instructions to a “T”. My son liked them, so I moved on to the good stuff, carrots, sweet potatoes, corn, but always throwing in the greens now and again so he didn’t forget what they tasted like. I would even mix them up to hide the flavor of the greens and use sweet serenity like carrots, to mask their grainy texture and strong flavor. In order for me to be persistent with the fruits and veggies, I had to believe in their nutritional value as well. I had always been more of the health freak in my family, always reading up on the who, what, why of foods. And I love variety. I love to try new things. I eat all kinds of flavors and textures, and I would be damned if I was going to live a life of boring bland foods smothered in ketchup and Ranch dressing because that is all my kids would eat. So I made sure they were experiencing all kinds of foods as well, in all colors, flavors and textures.

Teeth

Moving out of the jar food phase and into the gumming and teething phase, I found this amazing little gadget, the Baby Safe Feeder. It’s a contraption that holds food inside a net that is screwed on to a little handle for the baby to hold. This was an amazing opportunity for my children to try the same foods I was eating in a safe way. I put everything in there, steak, watermelon, carrots, strawberries, avocado, you name it, it went in there. Clean up is kind of, well, gross. The babies mash the net with their gums until they can suck out the food that is inside. It gives them the opportunity to try what you are having, not to mention a great teething tool as well, but it leaves a disgusting mess of mushed up food for you to clean. For me, it was well worth it. Both of my kids loved it whenever I pulled it out, and they would literally mash and suck until they got everything out of that net. (You can buy replacement nets as they do tend to get pretty nasty and hard to clean the more you use them.)

The other tool that was instrumental in getting my kids to eat their fruits and veggies was called the Kidco Baby Steps Food Mill . Remember, this was five years ago, so you can find more advanced tools now. A brand called Beaba makes one that looks amazing and I’m looking forward to using it for the twins. Every time my husband and I ate dinner at home, our kids ate the same thing. We would grind up our foods, and serve it to them. Again, they loved it. We struck out on a few things because of the texture, but overall, they were very happy to eat what we were eating. If it got to dry or too thick, we would add some formula to it and mush it up a little. Between those two products, they were learning to eat the same foods we were by the time they were one year old.

Put Some Variety in Your Diet

The one thing I always committed to, and still am to this day, is always serving a fruit with breakfast (if not fruit, then fresh squeezed juice), fruit and veggie with lunch, veggies with dinner, and sometimes fruit for dessert. My son’s favorite dessert is Strawberry shortcake, and my daughter will often choose blackberries and strawberries to a bowl of ice cream. Growing up, I was a big fruits and veggies eater. My mom always had them around, and I loved eating peaches, plums, green grapes, carrots and celery sticks…fruit and vegetables were a big part of my diet. My grandmother is Italian, and she was always feeding me things like peas and pasta, rapini and sausage, and we had salad with every dinner. My dad loved spicy things, so I did too, and we would eat peppers on everything we could. Variety was a big part of my diet. The older I got, the more curious I became about exotic fruits and vegetables and how to prepare them. Fortunately, I married a man who will try anything, so we enjoy traveling together and experiencing the different cultures with food. When we can’t travel, we love going to Whole Foods and finding something new and different to try. The other activity our kids love to do is go to the grocery store. I let them pick out the contents of their lunch, with guidance, and they are now getting to the age where they ask, “Is this nutritional?” “Is this good for my body?” and they also want to know how and why. They get to pick out fruits and veggies, and we spend most of our time in the produce section. We have great cookbooks with lots of pictures and my kids and I will go through them together. They will pick out things that look good, and we will buy them and prepare them. Sometimes, we’ll go in reverse and they will pick out some pretty interesting produce first, and I’m given the fun, yet challenging task of preparing it. For Christmas last year, my girlfriend bought me a cookbook on how to prepare every and any vegetable.< br />
If I were to answer that question again, “How do I get my kids to eat fruits and veggies?” I would have to answer: dedication, commitment, education. If you believe in the power of fruits and veggies, then your kids will, too. I also had great exposure to them growing up, which helped, but I had a continued interest in them as an adult. The people in my life supported my fruits and veggies habit. In fact, my pediatrician, the one who said to feed greens first, also told me to feed my kids what I am eating (and I eat crazy things). That saves me time and money, as I am not creating three different meals for my family at dinner every night. My kids love “shushi”: miso soup, white rice, and edamame. They are now exploring the cooked rolls like California and Crunch rolls. The end of the meal is their favorite with sliced up oranges and mochi every now and then. They love Thai food: pad thai is a big favorite of theirs. They also love dumplings and of course, veggie fried rice. Beyond Thai and Japanese, Mexican, Italian, and American staples fill their diet. The fro yo craze has not surpassed my kids, and they always choose a fruit topping, along with a candy one. I am a true believer that your kids will follow by example. So, get to know your fruits and veggies, introduce some variety and educate them on the hows and whys. With these tips, hopefully at the next birthday party, you’ll know where to find your kids, in front of the fruit and veggie platter.

My grandfather passed away exactly one month ago today. When I first started this blog, I wasn’t inspired in the right way to pay tribute to him. With the trauma of dealing with a sudden family death, amongst other things like my hyperemisis, discovering twins, and issues at work, I felt a little cheated during the immediate grieving process. I kept saying to myself, “don’t worry, it will all hit you and you will feel the pain and the sadness.” It never came, or at least, it hasn’t so far. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve definitely had moments where I miss him and am sad, but nothing compared to what I thought I was going to go through.

Rockstar Mom and Grandma at Grandpa’s funeral reception.

Since March 11th, I have been on bed rest. I am such a busy body, that this literally is killing me softly. I love to run and do yoga, and be active with my kids. It is so hard to be stuck in my house all day. My mom suggested we take a few days and go down to the beach. My parents have a house in Orange County, so it is a quick getaway, about a 3 1/2 hour drive from Vegas. Since my daughter and I were both stuck in this house during spring break while my 5 year old was hitting the slopes in Telluride, Colorado, I figured it would be a welcome break. My dad was initially going to come with us, and honestly, it would have been a more relaxed and quieter trip with just my parents and my daughter and me, but work got in the way, so he had to stay in town. My mom convinced my sister to drive us down with her two boys, ages 4 1/2 and 2 1/2 years. Well, actually, they drove, Stella and I flew. I had tickets and was worried it would be too hard for me to drive for four hours in the car with my unpredictable condition. Since it was just the girls going, my mom and sister and I decided to talk my grandma into coming with us as well. At first she was adamant and said no, she wasn’t ready. She never really explained what that meant, but I’m sure we all came to our own conclusions in our head: she wasn’t ready to leave my grandpa at home, wasn’t ready to celebrate life while he had just passed, wasn’t ready to be reminded of all the times they spent together at the beach…whatever the reason, she was standing her ground. After discovering my aunt and uncle, whom she lives with, would be out of town, and my aunt, who drives across town religiously to entertain her on the weekends, would be out her car for that weekend we were gone, we convinced her the day before we left to come with us. I think she’s glad she came.

When my grandfather first passed, my grandma would talk and talk about what a great man he was. You could tell that she just missed him terribly. And we would all listen, we still do, but she doesn’t talk about him like she did when he was first gone. The one thing I love about my family is that we all support each other. It doesn’t matter if it’s good or bad, it truly is unconditional love. It’s the one place you feel ashamed to run to at first because you don’t want anyone to know you’ve let them down, but it’s the first place you run to when you feel ashamed because you need the support and the love and to know that no matter how alone you feel in the outside world, there is that immediate group of 25 people who love you unconditionally, and they can’t help it. Beyond those times, there are just the times when you need to regroup, re-energize, reconnect, and these are the people we do it with. We need each other. This is a legacy my grandpa left behind. I get that we are the fortunate few to have this type of family dynamic, and at times we take advantage of it, but most often we know what an amazing thing it is to be a part of.

My cousins and brother at Grandpa’s funeral reception.

We got my grandmother laughing and talking. She was relaxed, she was spending time with her daughter, grandchildren and great-children. We ate out every meal, and went to the places she likes to go to. The last night, we were able to secure a babysitter to do some shopping and a nice dinner without the chaos of having two pre-schoolers and a toddler along. It was quiet and nice to concentrate on shoes and bathing suits vs. quick glances at price tags, thinking fast, yelling and chasing after kids. We planned dinner late, and at that point, I was hungry, sick and tired. We finally made it to dinner at this great little steak house in San Juan Capistrano called the Vintage Steak House. They served mesquite grilled chops, live jazz music, and awesome desserts in refurbished train cars. It was a great atmosphere, great conversation, and great food. After we stuffed ourselves silly, we sat there and laughed about how much my mom’s dinner cost alone, how her and my grandma had left their money and credit cards back at the house, and how we harldy knew the babysitter, but that’s how desperate we were to get out of the house (she really was a college friend’s recommendation). We were still laughing so hard when we got back to the house, that when my grandma got out of the car, she froggied (as my kids like to say), and that made us laugh even harder. For a moment, we forgot that my grandpa wasn’t physically with us an
ymore. For a moment, we were just living our lives.

It was at that point I realized that maybe this was my greiving period. That my granfather was never one for tears and sadness. At Irish funerals, they all drink beer and sing songs and tell stories to celebrate the life of the one who has passed. Again, another legacy my grandfather passed on to us. Be proud. Be passionate. Be Kind. Live. Love. Laugh. He is in all those words to me. Maybe that is why I’m not experiencing the kind of grief I thought I would. Because he taught us to live different than that. To expect more out of life than tears and sadness. To celebrate by telling stories and being together, being there for each other. These are big shoes to fill, and with everyday life happening, it’s easy to get distracted from this. But if there is one thing I can do to keep my grandfather’s legacy alive, it’s by keeping the way he lived his life present, and share it with my kids and grandkids. In my mind, this is what he would have wanted for me.