Every year for her birthday she requests a tea party. She is four years old, and we have had two princess tea parties. This year, I splurged and treated her, my mom, sister, mother in law, grandmother, my girlfriend and her daughter to Afternoon Tea at the Verandah at the Four Seasons. It was very emotional for me, seeing my daughter at the head of the table at the place where I rediscovered my love for tea six years before she was even thought about. What is crazy to me is that she really does love tea. I think for her it is about the ritual of tea. The coming together of friends and family for a light snack and great conversation. It is amazing to think that she gets this already. I really think she does. I love it because it is something we will have together to share in our lives, and she can pass the tradition on to her own children.

This was one of my first articles I wrote as a non-paid freelancer. I was watching Ugly Betty last night (thanks to my DVR), and the whole theme was about how it is a risk to make changes to something that feels secure, like a safety net. In the end though, when you truly follow your dreams and your passions, it pays off. Maybe not monetarily, always, but your life is more balanced because your are spending time doing something you love. Love what you do. Do what you love.

I remember when I first graduated from college, I was working at an ad agency, and I wasn’t loving it. One morning I was watching the Today Show while getting ready, and a pair of figure skaters were being interviewed. I kept thinking, it must be so nice to have a job you love, and are so passionate about, even if it’s figure skating. The more I thought this, the more I thought, why don’t I? It truly can’t be that impossible. For me, it kind of was. I was in the midst of buying a house with the responsibility of a mortgage and other bills. I still needed that sense of security, that safety net. It took me ten more years of jobs that I had a love/hate relationship with, just so I could pay the bills. I think people discover this at different times in their lives. I envy those who have the confidence right away to say, I’m not doing anything else until I am successful at “this”. I never really had a career in mind when I graduated in college. I toyed around with being a history professor, or 6th grade history teacher, but I didn’t take the right classes to earn my credential while in college, why??? I guess deep down inside I wanted something different for myself. I also thought about being an archaeologist, but I didn’t jive with the archaeologists I worked with during an internship at my university. I went into marketing because I love planning, strategy, details, creativity, and being forced to think outside the box. But if I wrote down my ten year plan, my vision is me being a writer. I finally feel like I can take that risk and say, “this is what I want to work at until I’m successful.” Any maybe it’s because I married to a safety net~ but are we ever really truly safe? I mean, the only way fairy tales come true is when you can finally look at the story and say, “Yup. This is exactly where I want to be.” We have to write our own fairy tale.

This company I currently work for is basically a retail company. I never thought in a million years I would work for a retail company. What I love about the company is that they really do invest in their people. They teach you life skills, not just how to manage a store. This is the most valuable education you can have, in my opinion. When I am ready to leave this company, not only will I walk away with management, budget analysis, product and inventory, and branding experience, I will walk away with the tools needed to continue to pursue my goals. The confidence to know that I can, and the ability to recognize when I’m not “playing the game”. The amazing thing is that my goals outside of this company are not in retail, and my manager’s job is to recognize when I’ve hit my ceiling with them, and time for me to move on to finally pursue those goals. It’s a crazy concept, I know, but it really is happening for this company and the people who are fortunate enough to work there.

So here is a very beginning sample of me following my passions before I was truly ready to follow them. I wrote an article for an on-line website called www.Hellium.com, where you choose a given topic, write about it, submit it, then your peers vote on its placement. For example, I was voted 3/6 of those writers who also submitted an article on this same topic. Happy reading!

Understanding the Etiquette of the RSVP
by Stefanie Van Aken

Modern etiquette is not intimidating if you handle social situations in the same way in which you would like to be respected for social events you host, aka: the Golden Rule, “do unto others…”.
Upon receiving an invitation for an event, no matter how large or how small, it is simply impolite to not RSVP, even if you are not planning on attending. The first rule, assuming the host or hostess has given ample time, at least two weeks, is to check your personal social and work calendar to see if you are able to attend at all. Less than two weeks is a little rushed on their part, but there could be a good reason behind it, so take heed, and still maintain your social graces. Once it has been decided, you should contact the invitee as soon as possible so A) You don’t forget to RSVP and B) In order to give the host plenty of notice in which to include you for food, drinks, seating, etc.

Couple of rules to follow with an RSVP:

1. However the host prefers for you to RSVP, phone or email (which is becoming quite common these days), follow suit. There is a reason they have requested this of you, perhaps for time or organization. If they ask to email and you call, it may slip their mind if they are not prepared to take phone RSVPs. If you are asked to leave a message, then clearly leave your full name, last name spelled, repeated twice, along with the date, time and a phone number in which you can be reached. If you cannot attend, it is suffice to say you have a prior engagement, you were flattered by the invitation, and you hope you are considered again for another event.
2. In regards to the first rule, generally speaking, if an invitation requests a response, but leaves no information in how to respond, the most formal and accepted means, according to Emily Post, is to send a hand written note in which expresses your acceptance of the invitation or your regrets.
3. When trying to decipher who from your household, or if a date, is invited on the invitation, take note of who the invitation is addressed to. The Smith Family usually means the entire family, John Smith and Guest is John and whomever he chooses to bring as his guest (though take care in whom you choose to bring if it affects emotions or your host, it is their party after all, and they were kind enough to invite you in the first p
lace, do not ruin it for them). John and Sara Smith is plainly that, John and Sara Smith. Not John, Sara and the two kids. Most times than not, a request like that is nothing personal towards your adorable children, there may be accommodation issues, or cost issues. One should be sympathetic towards this, not offended.
4. Finally, do not RSVP and not show up. Accidents, emergencies and sudden illness happens, and most gracious hosts are empathetic to those situations. Even in those situations, there may be a minute or two to call and leave the message that you will not be able to attend, and will call later to explain. If you cannot make it for some reason beyond that, ensure you give your host as much notice as possible so they can make arrangements for you not being there. Remember these things cost someone time and money. If you cannot attend after having said you would, a nice note or phone call is a proper way to apologize and hope that you would be invited to another event. If you had to flake on your grandmother, or someone important to you and you feel pretty guilty, you may want to consider sending flowers or cookies, dropping off a nice bottle of wine or their favorite liquor.

Again, etiquette is not a difficult thing if you think of it in the terms of how you would want to be treated if or when the roles are reversed.

I have no idea where to begin, maybe I’ll start with the name of the blog. Am I a rock star in the true sense of the word? Not unless you count me getting crazy on the drums in Guitar Band. I just took the phrase from a few friends who recently called me a Rock Star mom, and because the other titles I was going for were no longer available. I guess that speaks volumes for my sense of creativity!

Where did it come from?

A few weeks ago, I announced I was having twins. This is crazy to me. My husband and I were planning on one more, just one. We already have two amazingly beautiful, smart, funny, healthy children ages 5 1/2 and 4 years old. We wanted to add one more to our brood. We always thought five was a strong number, you can’t break an odd number. Nonetheless, we, or should I say, my doctor, discovered two on a fluke visit because I had been feeling so sick. So sick, that I couldn’t get out of bed, eat or drink anything, and I was going to my doctor to beg her for any kind of medicine to help make me feel human again. I seriously did not remember being this sick with my other two, not bad enough to need meds. Needlesstosay, she congratulated me on twins and asked if they ran in the family. I was in the office by myself because my husband was away on business, and it was the last thought running through my head. “I guess,” was all I could say; it’s not like we were taking fertility drugs and the reality is that I will be 35 this year. When I made it back to the safe haven of my family to give them the news, they started spewing out all of the relatives, apparently on both sides of my family, who had had twins. When the news finally reached my in-laws, they started spewing out all the relatives on their side of the family that had had twins. In hindsight, my answer should have been, “Yes! It runs rampant on all four sides of our family. We chose to ignore this information previously because we didn’t believe it would ever happen to us.”

But it did. I also work for an athletic apparel company, managing the store on the Las Vegas strip, as well as managing the community program. I probably put in anywhere from 60-80 hours a week, depending on the week. On top of that, I still find time to volunteer at my kids’ schools, make their lunches (don’t even get me started…this will be a whole new blog) so they are not subjected to the horrors of the food selection offered by the Clark County School District, attend birthday parties, throw birthday parties, hang out with my girlfriends, Sunday dinners with our family, get kids to karate, ballet and swimming, plan vacations, run 5ks, 10ks and 1/2 marathons, Sunday brunch with the hubby and kids, and accompany my husband to his many exciting and late night excursions for his work. This is how I was given the label “Rock Star Mom”.

What they don’t know, or maybe just don’t realize, is how much help I have to make this happen. I have a TON of help. As you may have guessed, I live in Las Vegas. My husband works for the largest gaming company in Las Vegas, maybe even the world (I’ll have to research that), and his job is to take care of very high end players…he does a lot of entertaining, and I get the fortunate opportunity to accompany him to some of these amazing events. The coolest thing is that we were both born and raised here. We went away to college in California for four years to get our diplomas, then came back. Though we are four years apart, we never knew each other directly. Oddly enough, our younger siblings went to high school together, and when we were younger, we participated on the same swim teams, cotillion, had the same memories of growing up in Las Vegas, but because of our age difference, we never really crossed paths. Until our mothers introduced us. (yes, another blog post) What this means for us is that both of our families are here. My grandparents moved out here in the 1960’s and his family even earlier than that. His great grandfather had the only drug store for the workers out at the Hoover Dam, and his great grandmother was the elite’s town photographer. So, I can’t take all the credit for my Rock Star status. My mother in law gets my kids to and from ballet, karate and swimming. My mother makes sure my son is getting his religious education. Between the two of them, they pick up, drop off, and babysit several times a week so my husband and I can both have careers. On top of that, I have a weekly cleaning lady. I have a college student who sits for me on Tuesday nights so I can work late or go to a fitness class. On Thursdays and Fridays I have a “Mommy’s Helper” who does my laundry, cooks my kids’ dinner, cleans up the kitchen, bathes them and puts them to bed (in their own beds even!). This allows me to grab dinner with my husband at the hotel, drinks with him and some players, a concert, a party. Sometimes it even means I get to have an early dinner or happy hour with my girlfriends or my sister. If I’m in a jam, my grandmother lives right down the street. My aunt will keep my kids overnight every once in awhile, and when she can’t my mother in law can. Yes, I may have the drive to want to get all of these things done. I mean, who doesn’t want it all? I know I do. And I think my kids deserve too. There should be no reason their health, education or social life suffers because I work full time in a career that I love. I struggle with this constantly, but in the end, it’s my life, and this is how I choose to live it. I don’t blame, I don’t play victim. If I can’t handle something, I don’t take it on. But I am responsible for the actions, choices, decisions I make in how I am running my life. Sometimes they turn out not to be the best ones, but I love learning from mistakes…it’s called experience. Life can be so full if you let it. Everyone has their own idea of what this is for them. For me, it’s taking it all on. I guess this is where that Rock Star status comes in play. But just like any other Rock Star, you need your entourage to make it happen. And I sure as hell have mine. Thank god they don’t ask me to pay them!!!