When the phone rang at 7:45am, the room was completely black, the ringing broke the still, dead silence, and I was actually touching my husband..skin to skin, no one in between us. A cloud of feathers enveloped me, and my head was cradled in cushion. For a moment, I felt so well-rested, I almost forgot how on Earth I could have possibly obtained that much sleep for at least 8 1/2 hours straight, without any interruption, except for a self-inflicted wake-up call. Ahhh…I quickly came to…it was Mother’s Day! And my plan was in full affect.
After listening to my girlfriends complain about how their expectations of either the day itself, their kids or their husband had disappointed them in some way or another, I almost felt guilty telling them about how amazing my Mother’s Day was. I was quick to add though, that in order for this to happen, I was the one who actually had to plan my Mother’s Day.
See…I’ve been there. Remember, this is my seventh Mother’s Day, my first to four children. I’ve experienced the let down, the upset, the feeling of neglect and unappreciation. Last year, I let my husband plan the whole day, and though his intentions were good, it turned out to be a disaster. And, let’s get real. Who really gets to sleep in at their own house when all of their kids are present? Who really gets to relax and put their mind on “day-off” mode, when there is always something to do around the house. I knew this would not be the case for me, especially with infant twins around, I knew my own physical and emotional expectations would be too high to be met, and I would not be able to handle Mother’s Day waking up in my own home. So, I booked a hotel room.
I tried to convince my other mommy friends to come and stay the night with me, knowing full well their fantasy of being woken up to breakfast in bed, followed by a morning of lounging in jammies and coming down the stairs to a sparkling clean house, and well-behaved children and husbands who insist you take a load off and rest while he does the dishes and the laundry, and cleans out the fish tanks….well, was just that, a fantasy. Some were afraid of waking up in the morning and not being with their kids. This does not frighten me. Why? Because I know they will be there when I get back!
My day went a little like this…
It actually began the night before. I was planning on showing up at the hotel in comfy clothes, but my husband called ahead and asked if I would join him for dinner. Reluctantly I did. I had envisioned room service and catching up on all the New Releases on the movie channel in the hotel room. We had just celebrated our anniversary a few nights before, so I really wanted to be well rested, and not hung over, so I could enjoy my day. I’m glad I went with it though. We had a great dinner, with only 1-2 drinks, and even better conversation. We laughed and talked, and we were both so relaxed. It was really nice. After dinner, we headed up to the room a little later than I had planned, so I didn’t get to watch a movie, but fell asleep to the next best thing, Tina Fey guest hosting on SNL.
Unfortunately, someone had to get up the next morning to take care of the kids, so RSH had a wake-up call scheduled. Otherwise, we both would have slept until at least 10! I headed downstairs with him to grab a chocolate croissant, fruit and cup of coffee, then hurried back upstairs to get back into my jammies and watch No Strings Attached. Cute movie, BTW. After that, I surfed the web and played on Face Book, took a nap, then decided to go down to the spa for a little circuit of steam, sauna and hot tub. Around 3:30, I showered and dressed without any interruptions or hurrying, I left the hotel to meet up with my family at a bar-b-que at my parent’s house. I think I was the happiest person in the room, and I was so excited to see my kids when they came running up to me. My kids are awesome.
The next 24 hours I fielded some complaints from other mommy friends, and listened empathetically. My lesson learned this year was to truly make it your day by planning it the way you want it to go down. Yeah, it’s all good and romantic to think that your spouse and your kids are going to plan you the day of you dreams. In my experience, it’s just not realistic. Either there is something lost in translation, or we want them to read our minds. The other part I’ve learned is that, I’m a mom too. Meaning though I treasure and love and appreciate my own mother, aunt, grandma, mother-in-law, I also need to be recognized for being a hard working, dedicated parent. I want to celebrate with everyone, but we have such a big family, sometimes it’s hard to be a people pleaser. Growing up, we always did one big event, but my mom never had to share us with my dad’s parents because they weren’t around. That made it much easier for us then, but all of my siblings and myself have in-laws that live here in Las Vegas. Sometimes we forget about putting our own families first and end up spreading ourselves too thin, and in the end, no one is happy. And as much as my in-laws think I’m amazing, really, it’s more important to them to have the kids there. They are pretty cool too with making sure I get “me” time. Not to mention, they are also friends with my parents, which makes it easier for me, and fortunately, they end up coming to a lot of family dinners. Finally, my husband got to really experience what it is like to do what I do every day. That was the best gift of all.
I have to admit, it was a different feeling waking up on Mother’s Day to no kids to take care of. To counter that, on Saturday, they were both way too excited to wait to give me their homemade gifts, and my daughter insisted she make me breakfast in bed. There were times during the day where I wanted to just pack up and go home, but I kept telling myself, no, I need the rest, I need the mind break. I need to focus on me, it is my day after all, and who knows when I will get this chance again. When I got to the bar-b-que, I was happy and relaxed and enjoying my life. I felt like the luckiest mother in the world. And this morning, I was able to conquer my week with a positive, can-do attitude. The difference I felt from last week to this week was completely amazing. I even liked my husband more!
This will definitely become a tradition in my family. I have to look ahead though because sometimes my oldest son’s birthday falls on Mother’s Day, but maybe that will just give us the opportunity to have mother/son time on those years. hmmm…I like that!