I often find myself laughing inside when I notice how quickly I can go straight from “Mean Mommy” to my 7 and 5 year old, then turn to my sweet little angels and bestow a thousand kisses on them and tell them how much I love them.  With the age gap between the two sets of kids, it is almost as if I am two different mommies.

With my two older kids, I am fun loving, but also the disciplinarian.  A side of me the twins have yet to discover.  The only time I tell them “No!” is if one is pulling hair, scratching out his brother’s eyeballs, or stealing his bottle.  Other than that, they can have anything they want because they are so beautiful, and delicious, and adorable…they are my bubbas, and I am over the moon for them.

I think to myself, there is no way I will ever yell at them like I do their older siblings.  Then I laugh again, remembering that I once felt that way about them, too.  I ponder the thought of whether or not I will be like one of those parents who had their kids late in life, so they are more lackadaisical about raising them.  Then I am interrupted again by my little girl, who just adores her two baby brothers.  She jumps in the crib to sing them a lullaby as I kiss them good night, set up their humidifier and close the curtains.

Then I say to them softly, “It’s still me, we just haven’t gotten to know each other on that level yet.  One day we will, but for now, I’m enjoying the innocence of you being a baby because one day, soon, the wrath of Mommy will unleash on you, too.”

It’s kind of like owning a dog.  You know how they say owning a dog helps lower your blood pressure, makes you happy, and releases stress.  That’s what my babies are like for me.  It doesn’t matter what is happening around me, when I see those rosy cheeks, gummy smiles and chunky thighs, I just can’t help but to feel a calmness come over me.  I’m loving this time because I know it’s going to be over all too fast.